Doc Tesseract

The adventures of Greg Silverman, retail industry employee, prospective college student and superhero.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Braaaaains...

What do you know; two weeks in, and I'm already in my first big superbattle. And it had the walking dead, too.

The emergency signal went out around 8:45 last night. I was watching The Simpsons (I don't even know why anymore; it just sucks now) when the news broke in. According to the WTXF anchor, who looked one good "boo" from shitting himself on-air, zombies were running rampant in Germantown. I told my parents where I was going, ran upstairs, suited up, and ported in, landing on top of Grumblethorpe.

It was full-out zombie madness. I saw a horde of about fifty shambling corpses stamping down the street, all snarling and growling. Some of them were tearing each other apart.

Fortunately, I wasn't alone. I was wondering how I'd go about getting them all (I was gonna teleport the corpses into low atmosphere over the earth so they'd burn up on reentry, but I can only get my beam to hit one enemy at a time) when I heard a shriek like a valkyr having her toes stepped on. Talon. She flew in close to the ground, hurled a birdbomb, and took off. Rotting flesh everywhere.

I picked up some of the zombies who'd been left intact, and ported across the street to get a better view. Everyone was there. Quint was down the stret, incinerating a group of zombies with a pillar of fire. The Silver Bullet and some other robot/armored hero I'd never seen before were knocking heads off with their bare fists*. Talon was raining down death from above, and even Pulse was there, using sonic blasts to herd the zombies into the killzone.

Quint spotted me. "Nice to see you here!" he yelled. "Can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Get me one of these slippery bastards for study!"

"What?"

"This wasn't any bioweapon; something is riding these corpses! Maybe I can find out what. Here!" He squinted his eyes, and suddenly I had an image in my head of a room filled with crystals, grimoires, and more occult symbols than a Goth's bedroom. "That's my lab. Send some of these monsters there. And aim for the pentacle on the floor!"

I quickly set about my work. Quint had told the others to leave some intact, so it wasn't hard to find the zombies. I ported three of them to Quint's lab, then set about disposing of the rest. All in all, Germantown was cleared by 10.

"I'm sorry, Doc," Quint said when it was all over, "but I can't watch over you tonight. I've got to find out what's behind these zombies. If I need help, I'll give you a call. Until then, go home and get some rest. You deserve it."

That's one for the scrapbooks.

*What can I say; I'm a bit desensitized to violence. Besides, the corpses were kinda old, so there weren't many icky fluids sloshing about.

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