Doc Tesseract

The adventures of Greg Silverman, retail industry employee, prospective college student and superhero.

Thursday, May 19, 2005

The Nameless Avenger

G-d, this name thing is harder than I thought. I spent all day at Electromat distracted by my utter lack of the ability to come up with a suitable alias.

Porter? Makes me sound like a freaking waiter. Jumper? I'd like something a little less suicidally-inclined. Locksmith? Well, maybe, but it just doesn't see right.

You see my problem? I'm about to enter a field where men and women go running blindly into the night dressed in spandex and tights to fight whatever they come across, and I'm acting like an utter perfectionist.

The worst part is, I'm smarter than this. I got pretty good grades in school, especially on creative assignments. I've got a scholarship to Williamson. And now I can jump across the galaxy* with hardly any effort, and I still-

Wait a minute.

Hot. Shit. Tesseract! G-d, why didn't I think about it before? You'd think someone who read every damn l'Engle book there was would come up with it faster!

From this day forth, evil will tremble before the mighty--

(Kid Tesseract? No. I'm eighteen, and I'm going off to college; no need to sound like I'm looking to join the New Centurions. Mr. Tesseract? Too formal. Ah, there we go...)

--before the mighty Doc Tesseract!

Now comes the hardest part of any superhero's career: telling his parents.

*Theoretically, of course. I'm not leaping to any alien worlds unless I have a written guarantee that it has oxygen and there's nothing too large and carnivorous living there.

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