Doc Tesseract

The adventures of Greg Silverman, retail industry employee, prospective college student and superhero.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

On Patrol

Punch and Judy were happy to see me. "So, how was Europe?" asks Punch.

"Oh, you know. Same old, same old," I say. "Just kidding, it was great. So, did Philly survive while I was away?"

"Funny you should mention that," says Judy. "You see, the day you went away, there was an alien invasion, and now we're all slaves to Zebra-People from Epsilon Nine."

"Well, I, for one, welcome our new zebra overlords," I reply. "So, what really happened?"

"The Iron Giant returned, for one thing," Punch says back.

"Really? Did he decide he wanted to be a gun this time?"

"Looked like. He was playing kick-the-car in Center City when we showed up. This time, though, The Silver Bullet showed up earlier, and we distracted the big tin can while he hacked into its memory banks, then deleted them."

"I was able to slow the guy so he didn't crush anyone when he fell," Judy explains. "Anyway, it turned out the robot was designed by some New Luddites. Convince people of the dangers of advanced technology by showing it run amok, etc, etc."

"Ah. Anything else?"

"The usual muggings and carjackings, but nothing really supervillainous. Oh, and we put on Snow White for the children's theatre."

"Sounds like quality fare."

"It was. Judy played the evil queen."

"Ah. So tell me, what was it like feasting on the salted heart of a deer?" I ask Judy.

"We didn't do that version," Judy says. "The kids would never trust Disney again. Though I bet it would taste like chicken."

So, did the criminals celebrate my return, too? Not really. There was a hold-up at a jewelry store in Mt. Airy, but that was about it. Still. I'm glad to see I was missed. Somewhat.

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